jenuh.belle

I’ve had a doctor appointment the past two days in a row and have another one tomorrow.

i like my new GI. he seems to be looking at my pain and my liver anomalies as two separate issues. it’s nice to feel understood by a doctor instead of just like a drug addict. i was telling him habits i had created from so long with my old GI. as i was saying them, i realized how insane they sounded. like not taking pain pills unless I’m debilitated b/c my old GI was convinced the pain was just from me being constipated in the first place (fine medical work there). he got me in touch with a pain management doctor, whom I’m meeting tomorrow. I’m just eager to see where all of this goes.

my endo gave me lots of insulin at my appointment today. I’m going to stay off the pump for a few weeks. i have the pens so it’ll be nice to NOT have to worry about a pump or syringes all the time.
i’m debating seeing a counselor again, for my mental health. i’m in a shitty spot and it helped so much in high school. i don’t have anything to lose from talking to someone. writing is one thing, (and my most therapeutic) but i need a faster way to get thoughts out of my head. some sort of validation that what goes through my head isn’t utter bullshit.

baby steps, though.
baby steps.